The Ask Game

[Yam Yam]

I would prefer to be a master stone mason, because then I could build myself a grand stone house. I would just go to Ikea to get some cabinets.

Would you prefer to be a Tribal Chief or a Chief Superintendent?

[Gliondrach]

I have been invited many time to become a tribal chief but have always declined. I would rather be a tribal chief than a Chief Super because there would be more prestige. They take anyone in the police force these days, so being one of the bosses is not all it's cracked up to be.

Will you be watching the Winter Olympics or do you find it boring to watch people on skis, skates and sledges?

[Doughnut]

I do like watching the Winter Olympics and find there is something cool about sports based on ice. Fly Eddie Fly!

What Winter Olympic sport would you like to try?

[Yam Yam]

The slalom. I am naturally talented with the gifts of speed, endurance and fast reflex so this sport would naturally compliment me.

If it was your job to be a cleaner in Fleet Street, what would you do on the weekend with £500 pounds?

[Gliondrach]

Are they paid £500 a week? I would do the same as I do now - which isn't a lot. I wouldn't squander the money. I would give some to good causes.

Would you rather go on a camping holiday in Cornwall or a walking holiday in Bavaria?

[Doughnut]

I would take the walking holiday in Bavaria if I got to stay in a hotel. I would also visit the German beer gardens and decide that might be more fun than walking.

Have you ever been to America?

[Gliondrach]

No. It is a dangerous place. I've seen the films - Gunfight at the OK Corral. Speakeasy Johnny. Bonnie and Clyde. Custer's Last Stand. The Maltese Falcon.

If you are not in Australia, do you have any relatives who live in Australia? And who are not wombats?

[Doughnut]

No relatives but I do have a friend in New Zealand. Also Kylie is from Australia and although she is not a relative I have been intimate with her on many occasions.

Have you ever thrown and then caught a boomerang?

[Gliondrach]

I have never done such a thing. I am concerned that I may lose sight of it and then it will attack me when I least expect it.

Have you ever hula hooped?

[Doughnut]

Yes as a child I am sure but not recently.

Why do Buddhists think it's okay to pay people to kill baby animals so they can steal their milk but also consider themselves compassionate?

[Gliondrach]

I don't know. Possibly due to ignorance. When I say 'possibly due to ignorance', I don't mean my lack of knowledge as to their behaviour is due to my ignorance - though it may be - I mean that they are possibly ignorant.

In which sport would you like to be a top professional?

[Yam Yam]

Swimming. It is my favourite sport, I love the feeling after a long hard swim, when you are relaxed, fresh and have the faint smell of chlorine.

If you had no cooking facilities for a week, what would you eat for dinner?

[Gliondrach]

Baked bean sandwiches. I never heat the beans up. Although I did yesterday. I heated them in the open tin over the gas flame. Saves on having to wash a pan. Or I could have bread with tahini. I already eat lots of nuts and raisins. I often go for days without doing any cooking apart from making toast. So I could survive very nicely without cooking facilities. When you are as resourceful and tough as wot I am, you can survive anywhere with anything.

Would you be able to easily manage without electricity for a week?

[Doughnut]

No it would be a nightmare. I need electric more than I need air because everything I use needs electricity to work....dam no internet for a week!....ahh it's not worth thinking about.

What are you most bitter about?

[Gliondrach]

The fact that humans are so cruel. On a personal level, the fact that my genius hasn't yet been recognised by more than about 10,000 people.

What are you most happy about?