Do you have a dark side?

[Blueshark]

How do you deal with the dark side to your psyche/soul etc.

Those 'demons' which manifest as greedy, lustful, destructive narcissistic thoughts?

Do you pretend they are not there, attempt to resolve them, embrace them!?

Is it unrealistic and perhaps a form of self-mutilation to try to rid ourselves of the 'dark' side and does it actually form the basis of a personality?

But then would not the responsible adult in you wish to be free of these harmful desires and thoughts?

[Gliondrach]

Most of those emotions/feelings/personality traits are only undesirable if they are too strong and uncontrolled. They can serve useful purposes when under control and are probably just normal parts of being human.

The way I rid myself of undesirable feelings is by using a form of visualisation in which I might see the thing I am trying to reduce as an actual object which I mentally reduce in size and push further away from me. I find some other thing which I want to replace it with and bring it closer to me, in my imagination. I dwell on feelings I want to have more of. If one thing doesn't seem to work I will try something else.

These methods don't always work the first few times I try them. Sometimes it takes a very long time. I haven't had any failures yet because I haven't given up yet. I also use other similar techniques.

We usually form habits by repeating something constantly. The mental part of any habit formation can be reversed or replaced by techniques such as those I mentioned. If the habit is some physical action, it can be reduced by not doing it.

I find that the best way to do it is to treat it as a game. Don't become too obsessed or you will be feeding the habit by dwelling on it. If you think about not doing something you are actually still thinking about it.

Of course, there is no need for me to add that I don't have a dark side.

Why did I feel the need to write that, then?

[Oracl]

How do you deal with the dark side to your psyche/soul etc.
I created an alter ego, called her SinnerCal and now I let her sort it out for me. :devilangel:

[Phoenix]

How do you deal with the dark side to your psyche/soul etc.

Those 'demons' which manifest as greedy, lustful, destructive narcissistic thoughts?
Some of the best advice I have ever heard / read on the subject is to simply explore why you are having those thoughts / feelings. Look at the issue with logic instead of either stuffing it down & ignoring it, or beating yourself up over whatever it is. Be gentle with yourself, look within and get to the root of why you are thinking the "bad" thoughts.

Much negativity is based on emotional pain :bmoon: so getting angry with yourself only makes things worse.

Sorry, if I had found this a few hours ago, the response would have been better. :tired:

Its a very interesting thread, though. Thanks for starting it. :)

[Blueshark]

I created an alter ego, called her SinnerCal and now I let her sort it out for me. :devilangel:
:D

Yeah but pleasure is also good, so why can't it be done without guilt etc?

[Blueshark]

Some of the best advice I have ever heard / read on the subject is to simply explore why you are having those thoughts / feelings. Look at the issue with logic instead of either stuffing it down & ignoring it, or beating yourself up over whatever it is. Be gentle with yourself, look within and get to the root of why you are thinking the "bad" thoughts.

Much negativity is based on emotional pain :bmoon: so getting angry with yourself only makes things worse.

Sorry, if I had found this a few hours ago, the response would have been better. :tired:

Its a very interesting thread, though. Thanks for starting it. :)

I agree with what you say, and personally feel that I have a good control of my emotions and actions. However interaction with people is a minefield, especially with those I know since they often impose their image of you onto yourself. I am not sure I am explaining myself well, but you may get the gist of it.

[dreamer]

I rather like Carl Jung's view on how we see our "dark side"...he spoke of the Shadow as the aspects of the Self which we do not accept. Sometimes those things are what most people would consider "bad," but sometimes they are actually neutral or positive aspects of ourselves that we somewhy discard. The problem is that often a person might "project" his/her Shadow onto others rather than recognizing the aspects in him/herself and dealing with them. I know that I occasionally find myself doing it and I've found people doing it to me on occasion...I have personally found that introverts (such as myself) seem to get "projected onto" even more frequently than extroverts seem to. As far as how I handle my own Shadow, I try to integrate the positive aspects and accept the negative aspects--though not give in to them...not that I'm perfect at that by any means:no: Though I agree with Gliondrich that often "negative" aspects can actually be positive if used appropriately:agree:

[Phoenix]

... interaction with people is a minefield, especially with those I know since they often impose their image of you onto yourself. I am not sure I am explaining myself well, but you may get the gist of it.
You explained yourself well, so I understand your point now. I tend to agree with dreamer since I've had many similar experiences.
... The problem is that often a person might "project" his/her Shadow onto others rather than recognizing the aspects in him/herself and dealing with them. I know that I occasionally find myself doing it and I've found people doing it to me on occasion...I have personally found that introverts (such as myself) seem to get "projected onto" even more frequently than extroverts seem to...
The way I (try to) handle it, is by knowing myself and not taking other people's issues / dark side onto myself.

[Blueshark]

I rather like Carl Jung's view on how we see our "dark side"...he spoke of the Shadow as the aspects of the Self which we do not accept. Sometimes those things are what most people would consider "bad," but sometimes they are actually neutral or positive aspects of ourselves that we somewhy discard. The problem is that often a person might "project" his/her Shadow onto others rather than recognizing the aspects in him/herself and dealing with them. :

That is interesting - of course everyone has a shadow otherwise the would would be full of holy saints.

I would take the view that to be a complete person one has to accept their Shadow as part of them. This would be an uncomfortable and difficult process but would surely be the correct path to inner peace (my goal).

[Bowwowmeow]

I guess I don't see it as a "Shadow", or a "dark side". Its just all me, neither good or bad, just human. Or animal. I don't seem to have too much trouble refraining from harming people, but that's not because I don't have a dark side, its because I give myself permission to acknowledge all aspects of myself, and experience them within my mind, which makes it unecessary to act upon many of my urges.

In other words, go ahead and feel whatever it is you feel. There is nothing intrinsically evil about any of the range of emotions we can experience. Just don't feel like you are compelled to act on every feeling you have. I think its when people see some part of themselves as dark, and try to repress it, that they get into trouble.

What people are isn't dark, but they are capable of doing dark things to others. As long as it remains in the realm of thought and feeling alone, its benign, but when it translates into behavior that is harmful to others, it truly is evil.

[Blueshark]

I guess I don't see it as a "Shadow", or a "dark side". Its just all me, neither good or bad, just human. Or animal. I don't seem to have too much trouble refraining from harming people, but that's not because I don't have a dark side, its because I give myself permission to acknowledge all aspects of myself, and experience them within my mind, which makes it unecessary to act upon many of my urges.


Yeah you speak sense, I will go with your philosophy from now on.

[dreamer]

I agree too BWM. I often think "dark" things, but can restrain myself from acting on them. The thoughts themselves I don't consider evil and I allow myself the thought w/o thinking worse of myself. Now if I acted on some of those thoughts...:rubchin: :pleer: :devil4: :rolleyes: ;) :D

[BTW, as I mentioned about Jung, he didn't say the Shadow was "evil," but rather those parts of ourselves that we neglect and belittle. Oftentimes they are not negative characteristics, but rather ignored, unresolved, or unevolved characteristics that we repress for whatever reasons--like other people/society pushing us to do so. An example is that my being veg*n was repressed growing up because I was constantly told that the extent of my caring for animals was unreasonable and animal products were necessary to survive. I gradually accepted that part of my "Shadow," first giving up meat from pigs, then all meat except fish, then fish/seafood, then dairy & eggs, then everything else that I recognize as coming from animals including clothing. I wouldn't consider that part of my Shadow negative at all and now it's not Shadow anymore:) ]

[veggiesosage]

I seem to be happier at night these days, does that count?

[Bowwowmeow]

How do you feel about garlic?

[veggiesosage]

The more the merrier :D :hungry: Not everyone else agrees next day though :o

[Bowwowmeow]

Well then there's hope for your dark side yet!
Never mind everyone else.

[Soynut]

Lately I've been turning jealousy into something more positive - I've turned it into action to better myself.:) I also agree with Bow that it's OK or even important to feel whatever we feel and not supress dark thoughts. I think it's an important part of self acceptance to acknowledge that we have both positive and negative traits, that we are a complete package.

I'm kind and compassionate, but i'm also selfish. I am a lot of things at the same time.

BTW, are you aware of your dark traits and think you know what people might say about you behind your back? Maybe I'm completely delusional, but I can usually feel what a person thinks about me, how I'm perceived, and I'm usually aware when my less desireable traits are sneaking out.....

[Alistair]

I seem to have a different take on having a dark side... I actually like mine and consider it to be a comforting thing.

When I think of that dark side, I think of a large dark and hollow place - but it is warm and soft with a velvety feel. Somewhere I can ''time out'' when I need to and where I am not open to observation.

It is there to bolster me when I have difficult things that I have to do. It's the place that my other humours lurk - particularly Wicked, Dry and Positive-Self-Deprecation.

The dark side is where I go when I feel bad. Not because it is a bad place - but because it is a good place to recover.

Just a different perspective...

[goodeone]

I do have a dark side like most people but i do my best to control it. I am a christrian and i Use the example of Jesus to help me over come my less desirable side. I also pray for strengh and look up helpful scriptures. It helps me to know that while i am an imperfect person God is aware of this and take my faults and failings into account. I do not however take Gods forgiveness as an excuse not to try and over come my faults.

[paul]

Me have a dark side, :no::shakehead:












Im all dark.:agree::laughingdevil::devilangel::shiftydvil :

[Gliondrach]

I can believe that.