Fuzzy the poet.

[Gliondrach]

Fuzzy had the idea of writing Limericks with a vegan theme. Perhaps other people would like to add their own. Here's Fuzzy's:

There was a young vegan from Cannock
Who, at night, would sleep in a hammock.
He woke up each morning
And couldn't stop yawning
Until he'd had toasted bannock.

Here's mine:

I saw a young lady in town
who had just won a beauty queen crown,
But, when caught unawares,
She fell down some stairs
And now wears a permanent frown.

What do you mean - it's not vegan? She is a vegan. It was the Miss Vegan contest what she won.

[paul]

well done fuzzy, and erm you too err gliondrach:D

[Gliondrach]

Mine is better.

There's a prize for the best.

[Ped Ant]

There was a young vegan called Roy
Who was fond of everything soy.
One day, after eating,
His heart just stopped beating.
And that was the end of the boy!


moral: eat maggots. :beanie:

[SinnerCal]

A clever young vegan called Ted
Created a wonderful spread.
"It looks rather vile,"
He said with a smile.
"But it tastes pretty good on my bread."

:yum:

[paul]

:excited: :whistle: :rofl: :hungry: :rock:

[Oracl]

There is a smart vegan called Laura
Whose fans on a forum adore her.
With wit and with charm
The trolls she'll disarm.
Without her we'd be much the poorer.

:cheer:

[Keykeypie]

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/9678/bravoob2.gif (http://imageshack.us)http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/9678/bravoob2.gif (http://imageshack.us)

Oh! You guys are so talented!

[Gliondrach]

Yes. I have some stiff competition. The judges, Benjamin Zephaniah and Morrisey, will make their decision on 21st of December, this year. The first prize is £1,000. Second prize is a signed photograph of Fuzzy. Third prize is a choice of any of the books what I have wrote - signed, of course. I am only interested in the first prize. It will come in handy. I am bound to win because of my natural talent and creative intelligence.

[Fauxmage]

There is a smart vegan called Laura
Whose fans on a forum adore her.
With wit and with charm
The trolls she'll disarm.
Without her we'd be much the poorer.

:cheer:
My lower lip is quivering just like Benny Hill's when he won the beauty pageant. :nanakiss: :colors: :flirt:

[paul]

There is a smart vegan called Laura
Whose fans on a forum adore her.
With wit and with charm
The trolls she'll disarm.
Without her we'd be much the poorer.

:cheer:


:agree: :agree: :agree: :rock: :bouncy: :master: :master: :master:

[SinnerCal]

A smashing young vegan called Marty
Decided to throw a big party.
Fuzzy came too,
With Winnie the Pooh.
And Fuzzy was looking quite tarty!

:flirt:

[paul]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :psing: :wigglebutt:

[SinnerCal]

There is a young fellow named Paul,
A vegan, so strapping and tall.
He keeps telling us
He looks like a bus.
But the girls all in love with him fall!

:colors:

[Gliondrach]

In a land where wombats roam
In Oz, which is her home,
A lady called Oracl
Writing things metaphorical
Creates another poem.

[Gliondrach]

There is an Oz donkey called Sinner
Who eats grass and things for dinner.
She is grey and handsome and fine
So much so I wish she were mine,
And to me she's always a winner.

[SinnerCal]

:flirt: :D

[SinnerCal]

A vegan enchantress called Minx
Likes buying her friends yummy drinks.
She knows heaps of songs,
Can tell rights from wrongs,
And never gets up to high jinx. ;)

:angelic: :princess:

[Oracl]

In a land where wombats roam
In Oz, which is her home,
A lady called Oracl
Writing things metaphorical
Creates another poem.

:updn: :D

[SinnerCal]

Check out this vegan called Keykey,
She's so smart it really is freaky.
She's hip and she's cool,
She's nobody's fool,
And she's much too nice to be cheeky! :whistle:

:cool:

[Bowwowmeow]

The young woman typed "OMG!
Ur last name is spelled with a 'V'?"
She told her bf
Who typed "WTF?
Coulda sworn it began with a 'B'!"
:bhead:

[Oracl]

:D :lol: :D :lol: :D

[Gliondrach]

Yes, the competition is hotting up. Bowwow has entered with an excellent contribution that is the first alphabetical one I've seen.

[thevegantwins]

There was a site for vegans who went bare
Though vegan clothes and shoes they could wear
Twas a happy, slightly kooky melange
Led by the creative, wise Fauxmage
Who lured us innocent vegans to her lair!

(Ugh, that was shit! :blecch: )

[Enchantress]

A vegan enchantress called Minx
Likes buying her friends yummy drinks.
She knows heaps of songs,
Can tell rights from wrongs,
And never gets up to high jinx. ;)

:angelic: :princess:
Aww, thankoo :psmooch:.

[paul]

There was a site for vegans who went bare
Though vegan clothes and shoes they could wear
Twas a happy, slightly kooky melange
Led by the creative, wise Fauxmage
Who lured us innocent vegans to her lair!

(Ugh, that was shit! :blecch: )

tis good:agree: :rock:

[Gliondrach]

As TVT said: Oh, that was a hit. :agree:

[Gliondrach]

On today's Poetry Please, on BBC Radio 4, the subject for the poems was Autumn. Amongst these was John Keats' To Autumn poem - the 'Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness' one - read by Philip Franks. He played the part of Charlie in The Darling Buds of May. He liked poetry in that series, too. Another of the readers is Andrew Sachs, who used to play Manuel in Fawlty Towers. And not a trace of a Spanish accent. There's also a long poem by an American-type.


bbc.co.uk/radio4/progs/listenagain.shtml

Find Poetry Please and then click on 'Listen' under the name. Don't panic - you hear the end of the previous programme first for a few seconds. You'll be able to listen to it again until next week's programme replaces it.

[Oracl]

There was a site for vegans who went bare
Though vegan clothes and shoes they could wear
Twas a happy, slightly kooky melange
Led by the creative, wise Fauxmage
Who lured us innocent vegans to her lair!

I like it, a limerick for the whole forum. :agree: :cheer:

[SinnerCal]

The mum of the vegan twins
Takes care when preparing their dins.
There's no need to panic,
The food is organic,
And nothing is served out of tins.

:beanie: :beanie:

:hungry: :eat:

[SinnerCal]

SinnerCal: "Personalised limericks for any occasion!"

Please note: If your limerick hasn't appeared yet - don't panic! It's because I can't think of a rhyme for your name. :rubchin:
(For example: 'Phoenix' is still causing me grief in the rhyming department while 'paul' was a piece of cake! ;) )

[thevegantwins]

The mum of the vegan twins
Takes care when preparing their dins.
There's no need to panic,
The food is organic,
And nothing is served out of tins.

:beanie: :beanie:

:hungry: :eat:
:nanakiss: :nanakiss: :nanakiss:

Thank you SinnerCal! Unfortunately, they do eat organic beans out of a tin (rinsed first of course) but besides those, no other tinned foods. :agree:

[paul]

There is a young fellow named Paul,
A vegan, so strapping and tall.
He keeps telling us
He looks like a bus.
But the girls all in love with him fall!

:colors:

:o thanks sinnercal:psmooch: :rock:

[Keykeypie]

Check out this vegan called Keykey,
She's so smart it really is freaky.
She's hip and she's cool,
She's nobody's fool,
And she's much too nice to be cheeky! :whistle:

:cool:

OH OH OH....THANK YOU!! I love it!!:yea: :blinkwave: :nanakiss:

[SinnerCal]

:curtsey: :D

[SinnerCal]

Our Phoenix is a bird reborn,
She gets up early in the morn.
She's our vegan in Oz
And we love her because
Without her we'd be so forlorn.

:nanakiss: :updn:

Thanks to Gliondrach for help with this one. :)

[SinnerCal]

Alistair's real name is veganblue.
Such a great lad and so clever too.
He gardens and cooks
And reads lots of books.
He's essential to our naked crew.

:gardening: :chef: :reading:

[Oracl]

Will somebody shut that donkey up? :rollingpin: :rolleyes:

[paul]

i think that donkey should carry on writing poetry, I'm just wondering if you are jealous oracl.:D :agree: :zip:

[Oracl]

i think that donkey should carry on writing poetry, I'm just wondering if you are jealous oracl.:D :agree: :zip:
:nahnah: :updn:

[SinnerCal]

We all like that vegan called Kriter,
Who works hard and keeps himself fitter.
On his back he'll lie
To check the night sky.
And we know he's never a quitter.

:daynight:

[Keykeypie]

I JUST LOVE THESE!!! I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH THEY BRIGHTEN THE DAY!! THEY ARE ALL SO PERFECT......HOW EVER DO YOU DO IT??? :blinkwave: :yea: :nanakiss: :colors: :cheer:

[Tiggerwoos]

There was a young vegan called Martin
Who after eating beans and legumes kept on fartin'
He scared Fuzzy bear
Who hid under a chair
At the noise and the smell of his parping!

Only joking, Martin, thought it was quite funny though!

[thevegantwins]

^^ :rofl: :lol:

[thevegantwins]

There was a donkey named SinnerCal
Who has turned into everyone's pal.
Because of her witty rhymes
On all those clever lines
She deserves a huge plate of dal!

:blecch:

[Tiggerwoos]

Aww! Sweet!:)

[thevegantwins]

The mad cat girl has written a limerick
Without any fancy airs or gimmicks
Her poem was entertaining and funny
Made my day seem a bit more sunny
While I'm sitting at work, feeling quite sick. :(

[Tiggerwoos]

ROFL!:D :D :D

There once was a mum of the vegan twins
Who liked to surprise them with colourful things
A brand new toy
Would make them shout for joy
With all the pleasure it would bring

[Gliondrach]

We are not amused.

A mad cat girl was very annoying,
With my dignity she was toying,
She accused Fuzzy of fear
But the truth she was nowhere near
And her accusations are certainly not joying.

(I've just invented the word 'joying'. The English language has long needed it)

[Gliondrach]

This is what Fuzzy wrote. This is because a certain person accused him of fear. He is a fearless, fierce cave bear and knows no fear.

A vegan lass called Tiggerwoos
Likes snots and clarts and doggy dos
She works in a station
That sends trains around the nation
And all the passengers give her boos.

[Keykeypie]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Gliondrach]

That'll teach her to toy with The Bear.
He can be dangerous so you'd better beware.
What happens when you call into question his courage
Goldilocks learnt when she ate all the porridge.
So cats should be careful and should take care.

[Tiggerwoos]

He he........ I love 'em. Has had me doubled up laughing at work!

Appologies from Potty the cat who wrote that lymeric while I wasn't looking. She's very PC literate!

[Gliondrach]

A mad vegan cat called Tiggerwoos,
Drank a very big bottle of foreign booze.
When she fell over
A dog named Rover
Began to sniff around for clues.

[Gliondrach]

Potty the cat is a clever feline
Who knows how to type and does it just fine
Limericks are her joy and delight
Even more than a good cat fight.
And more than playing with a ball of twine

[Gliondrach]

A Hallowe'en vegan had pumpkin soup
Then went out with a trick or treat group.
Whilst the vegans had sweets
And lots of nice eats
The omnis were locked in a chicken coop.

[SinnerCal]

There was a donkey named SinnerCal
Who has turned into everyone's pal.
Because of her witty rhymes
On all those clever lines
She deserves a huge plate of dal!
:o :eat: :lol:

[Gliondrach]

Which of these sounds better?

Vegans of the World unite!
Together we will win the fight.
We must stay strong
For all along
We know that we are in the right.

Vegans of the World unite!
We know that we are in the right.
We must stay strong
For all along
We know that we will win the fight.

[paul]

they are both very good, i would go for the erm arr uummmm the second one , no the first , no defo:rock: :dizzy: the second one.

[Gliondrach]

Here's one for anyone feeling in need of support:

If your life is hard and tough
Remember when you've had enough:
People here care about you,
Vegan friends are ever true,
We'll be with you in smooth and rough.

[Gliondrach]

Whenever you've had a stressful day
There is a mantra that you can say:
'I'm not alone in my strife,
I'm not alone in my life,
I have vegan friends come what may.'

[paul]

that is so loverly Gliondrach.:thumbsup:

[Gliondrach]

they are both very good, i would go for the erm arr uummmm the second one , no the first , no defo:rock: :dizzy: the second one.

Thanks for your invaluable help. :rolleyes:

[Gliondrach]

that is so loverly Gliondrach.:thumbsup:

Thank you. But I already know that I am.

[Keykeypie]

Well I love all you're poems Martin & Sinner's & everybody's .....aaaaaannnnnnnndddddddd.......I'm
feeling pretty silly just now.

I just asked Google who Nitram Nagev was.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Yeah....Yeah....OK, now I get it! yrev revelc

[thevegantwins]

Here's one for anyone feeling in need of support:

If your life is hard and tough
Remember when you've had enough:
People here care about you,
Vegan friends are ever true,
We'll be with you in smooth and rough.
That was suprisingly sweet, Martin.

[Bowwowmeow]

I just asked Google who Nitram Nagev was.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Yeah....Yeah....OK, now I get it! yrev revelc
I'm sorry Keykeypie, but I laughed out loud when I read this, I couldn't help it. :o I'm an odd person who can read upside down, backwards, etc., and I thought everyone knew who Nitram was. ;)

Say, I needed a laugh though, so thanks. :hug:

[Oracl]

Which of these sounds better?

Vegans of the World unite!
Together we will win the fight.
We must stay strong
For all along
We know that we are in the right.

Vegans of the World unite!
We know that we are in the right.
We must stay strong
For all along
We know that we will win the fight.
I love both of these but I would choose the first. :thumbsup: :agree: :yea:

[Gliondrach]

You are suprisingly sweet, Martin.

Thank you.

[Gliondrach]

I love both of these but I would choose the first. :thumbsup: :agree: :yea:

I think I agree.

[Gliondrach]

I just asked Google who Nitram Nagev was.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Yeah....Yeah....OK, now I get it! yrev revelc

I thought everyone knew who the great poet and philosopher is. He's a very good friend of mine.

[Keykeypie]

I'm sorry Keykeypie, but I laughed out loud when I read this, I couldn't help it. :o I'm an odd person who can read upside down, backwards, etc., and I thought everyone knew who Nitram was. ;)

Say, I needed a laugh though, so thanks. :hug:


My pleasure Bow! I laughed just as hard as you did. ...& I'm
laughing now.....I swear...story of my life, I'm always the last one to "get" stuff.

Picture this.....I'm still in my teens and tending bar in NYC. And happy
as hell to be there....away from the bigoted, good-ole-boy South of the fifties
where I grew up.

So in comes this pretty, black hooker, about my age....she's cute & funny
....very friendly, and she orders a beer, drinks it fast and then starts kinda doing that little dance we do when we have to pee but have to hold it in.....
She's going......."Oh oh oh....I gotta pee so bad!"

But when I said.....well go ahead, pointing to the Ladies room.....she shook her head and said "Oh no baby...I CANT!"

And I'm like WHAT? WHY NOT? SHIT! I thought I left all this crap behind
down south. And I say to her....."Now you listen to me....you go right ahead
and use the rest room! This is New York City! And if anybody doesn't like it...
they can answer to me!" http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/2594/soapboxog7.gif (http://imageshack.us)

And she's trying to keep a straight face while the others at the bar are cracking up......

wait.....it gets worse......somebody whispers to me it's nothing to do with her being black......it's because she's a hooker and she has a "date"

And I'm like WHAT??? I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE IS......and again.....I tell
her....."you go right ahead and use the restroom.....this is America...this is 1960! You got just as much right to use the ladies room as I do!!!http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/2594/soapboxog7.gif (http://imageshack.us)

Finally.....she just leaned over the bar and gave me a hug & danced on out the door. And the whole bar is having a good laugh on me.....until finally
someone took me aside and clued me in.........and I'm like....."You're kidding me!
Guys really pay girls to do "THAT"?:rofl: :laugh: :rofl::laugh:

[KRITER]

Guys pay girls to do the " I got to pee dance "?

[Bowwowmeow]

:D :zip:

[KRITER]

I never heard of such a thing.I dont understand wut it wood do for anybody.
Dont make no kinda sense.

[thevegantwins]

I'm not sure if you are kidding or not Kriter, I hope you are since I don't think we can really post here what she meant. :zip:

Just think of golden showers. :rain:

[Gliondrach]

I've only just realised. But that is because I was brought up as a good Catholic boy.

It was funny but it doesn't rhyme.

[thevegantwins]

I've only just realised. But that is because I was brought up as a good Catholic boy.
Well, I was brought up as a bad Jewish girl outside of NYC so I learned what it was at an early age (not that I've ever partaken :blecch: )

[paul]

keykeypie that was a wonderful story.:rofl: :rofl: :laugh: :laugh:

[Keykeypie]

Thanks Paul.....but it's true.....seems like I'm always the last to know:confused:

[Bowwowmeow]

Just think of golden showers. :rain: Or, to steer us back on topic, that famous book of alternative poetry, The Golden Stream by I. P. Frehley.
:whistle:

[paul]

:rofl: :laugh: :psing: :excited: :thumbsup:

[Oracl]

Or, to steer us back on topic, that famous book of alternative poetry, The Golden Stream by I. P. Frehley.
:whistle:

:D :lol: :D :lol:

[Bowwowmeow]

"Here I sit in solemn bliss
Listening to the dribbling piss.
Now and then a fart is heard
And out will come the stinky turd."
~ Anonymous

Sorry Fuzzy. :o

[Oracl]

I think I would call myself 'Anonymous' too if I made that poem up! :D

[Bowwowmeow]

In my Pa's day, apparently that's the sort of thing people wrote on backhouse walls.
:doghouse: :flush:

[Tiggerwoos]

"Here I sit in solemn bliss
Listening to the dribbling piss.
Now and then a fart is heard
And out will come the stinky turd."
~ Anonymous

Sorry Fuzzy. :o



:D :D :D

*Gives an award to Fuzzy, BWM and all for their crazy poems!*

[paul]

"Here I sit in solemn bliss
Listening to the dribbling piss.
Now and then a fart is heard
And out will come the stinky turd."
~ Anonymous

Sorry Fuzzy. :o


:rofl: :rofl:

[KRITER]

I'm not sure if you are kidding or not Kriter, I hope you are since I don't think we can really post here what she meant. :zip:

Just think of golden showers. :rain:


I reckon I shud be imbearassed.I wasnt kiding.I thawt it was about the lady wigling and carying on.I dont get out much but I understand the golden shower.I never understand dudes geting off on that.

[Bowwowmeow]

Don't be embarrassed KRITER. Its nice to know there are still people in the world who don't get stuff like that. There's an awful lot of stuff I wish I didn't know about. :o

[thevegantwins]

Don't be embarrassed KRITER. Its nice to know there are still people in the world who don't get stuff like that. There's an awful lot of stuff I wish I didn't know about. :o
:agree: Same here.

[thevegantwins]

"Here I sit in solemn bliss
Listening to the dribbling piss.
Now and then a fart is heard
And out will come the stinky turd."
~ Anonymous

Sorry Fuzzy. :o


Here was the version we learned as children:

Here I sit so brokenhearted
Came to sh*t
But only farted.


Sorry Fuzzy :o

[Keykeypie]

I reckon I shud be imbearassed.I wasnt kiding.I thawt it was about the lady wigling and carying on.I dont get out much but I understand the golden shower.I never understand dudes geting off on that.

Me either Kriter. But speaking of poems, I think you missed the one
SINNERCAL wrote for you a while back. It went like this.

We all like that vegan called Kriter,
Who works hard and keeps himself fitter.
On his back he'll lie
To check the night sky.
And we know he's never a quitter.

:daynight:

[Gliondrach]

Some of you know how I hate it when threads go off topic. I don't think Fuzzy would be amused, either. He takes his poetry very seriously. And, as he is far away risking his life to keep the rest of us safe, I think we should all bear that in mind.

Where is he? Over there.
Who is he? The Great Bear.
Far away, far away,
Whilst we sleep he will stay
Over there, over there.

Whilst we sleep he will stay
Far away on a hillside bare.

[KRITER]

We all like that vegan called Kriter,
Who works hard and keeps himself fitter.
On his back he'll lie
To check the night sky.
And we know he's never a quitter.

:daynight:
Its mity nice.All the other poems is fun too.Thank you kindly SinnerCal.

Thank you to Keykeypie.

[Bowwowmeow]

Watch out SinnerCal! :whistle:

There's a vegan named Alistair,
Who tends his garden with care.
Such red, ripe tomatoes
And earthy potatoes
Make wonderful vegan fare.
:tomato: :gardening:


Rainbow's been vegan so long,
She knows to steal honey is wrong.
She met Morrissey
And asked him to tea
And together they wrote his next song.
:rbow: :bee:

Our Dreamer's the eclectic one
Who knows that dreaming is fun.
She's INFP,
She writes poetry,
And Elmer the Pig's her creation.
:zzz: :lilpig:

Mr Cal is a lucky man
Because Oracl's his biggest fan.
He's very good-looking,
And she loves his cooking.
But best of all, he's vegan.
:chef: :updn:

[Oracl]

Mr Cal is a lucky man
Because Oracl's his biggest fan.
He's very good-looking,
And she loves his cooking.
But best of all, he's vegan.
:chef: :updn:

That's great, BWM. :yea: And Mr Cal will love it! :agree: :excited:

And the other poems are fab too! :cheer:

[SinnerCal]

Thank you kindly SinnerCal.
:curtsey:

[SinnerCal]

Watch out SinnerCal!
:whistle:
:nahnah:

[Bowwowmeow]

Veggiesosage gets his kicks
From taking lots of great pics
He goes far and near
And posts his shots here
But never reveals his tricks.
:artist: :magic:

[Oracl]

Excellent, BWM. :yea:

Not long until the judging of the winner of the Limerick Contest! :excited:

[Gliondrach]

Good ones, BWM. But I think you might have lost a point or two for trying to rhyme potatoes and tomatoes. Everyone knows that they don't rhyme. :D

[thevegantwins]

The poetry thread has been dead of late.
Please write more poems, I'll patiently wait.
Have the vegans here lost their talent and skill?
Reading everyone's poems gave me such a thrill.

[Enchantress]

I did write a poem last week, actually. 'Tis quite depressing though :o.

[thevegantwins]

Please share.

[Enchantress]

I stand in the shower
For more than an hour
And try to wash away the stains
Of a life lived wrongly
All the stupid mistakes
All the regrets that tarnish my dreams
But the water only touches the surface
It only cleanses the skin
It could never purge what's within

[thevegantwins]

That's beautiful. Do you really feel that way? I'm alot older than you and have made a ton of stupid mistakes but in the end, as long as you learn from your mistakes, regret is a waste of time. Just my opinion.

[Enchantress]

Thank you, TVT.

Sometimes I feel like that. As time goes by I'm getting to feel less and less like that though.

[thevegantwins]

Sometimes I feel like that too but its rare. I can't imagine there is anyone in the world who didn't make tons if mistakes growing up and still do.

[Gliondrach]

That's a lovely poem, Minxy.

You haven't lived yet. You are only an apprentice mistake maker. As TVT said, regret is no good. It is true that when we get older and look back on our lives it is mostly the things we didn't do, and that we wanted to do, that we really regret. We regret not doing them.

[Gliondrach]

Minxy's poem inspired me to write the following one.

All alone I stood and looked back on life
I saw happiness, and laughter but also strife.
I rejoiced at much but regretted some things,
But I especially recalled the happiness that brings
A smile to those whose lives I've shared,
Who were grateful for signs that I cared
If they lived or died, or laughed or cried,
If they needed love or needed a kind word.
Those I've loved and whose thoughts I've heard.

[Gliondrach]

But there is another thread for poetry of this sentimental type.

[Oracl]

:psmooch: Enchantress, that is a very beautiful piece of poetry you have written. :agree: :colors:

[Oracl]

Gliondrach, you too have hidden talent. :agree: :nanakiss: Or did Fuzzy write that? :rubchin:

[Oracl]

TVT, your little masterpiece has inspired a couple of gems from our naked poets! :thumbsup:

[Gliondrach]

Yes, TVT's was good.

No, Fuzzy didn't write that. He is a real poet with many published volumes of poetry. He writes under a sudo, er, psudo, er, psdeu, er, an assumed name.

[Keykeypie]

So who could "The Fuzz" really be?
Is he someone I'd know if I'd see?
Could his real name be Dylan?
Do you think he'd be willin',
To tell if I asked him to tea?

[Oracl]

Excellent poem, Keykeypie! :agree: :D :yea:

[Oracl]

He writes under a sudo, er, psudo, er, psdeu, er, an assumed name.
He has a nom de plume. :shh: ;)

[Keykeypie]

Excellent poem, Keykeypie! :agree: :D :yea:

Thank you...thank you.....WE are ALL so talented.....could it be a vegan thing?

[Oracl]

Thank you...thank you.....WE are ALL so talented.....could it be a vegan thing?
I'm pretty sure it is! :agree: ;) :D

[Bowwowmeow]

Some of these are too good for this silly thread. :professor: :D

[Charmagne]

All the poems are so good. You all are talented. Does anyone keep a book or a journal of their poems?

[Gliondrach]

So who could "The Fuzz" really be?
Is he someone I'd know if I'd see?
Could his real name be Dylan?
Do you think he'd be willin',
To tell if I asked him to tea?

That's a smashing poem, Keykeypie, and you've brought us back into Limerick land.

[Gliondrach]

'The Fuzz' is a very talented bear
He learns without so much as a care
When learning he moves like lightning
And it can really be quite frightening
So you had better make sure to beware.

[Keykeypie]

That's a smashing poem, Keykeypie, and you've brought us back into Limerick land.

Thanks Martin....but I have to confess, poems scare me. And here's why.
The first year I was married, my mother wrote an adorable poem for my husband on his birthday. And he was really touched by it very deeply....he said it was the nicest gift anybody had ever given him and he meant that sincerely.

The next year she wrote another one....equally as sweet & charming as the first. And again he just loved it. So it became a tradition.

After 12 years, we decided to divorce and I was kinda surprised by my mother's reaction when I told her, which was a really heartfelt OH THANK GOD!!.......strange because they always got along well and my husband was truly a very good man and not mean or abusive in any way.
My mother quickly retracted her first statment and went on to say how sorry she was.....and were we sure, etc.
But she did admitt that having to come up with another poem year after year was about to drive her crazy...........yeah, I could understand that..:)

[thevegantwins]

Minxy's poem inspired me to write the following one.

All alone I stood and looked back on life
I saw happiness, and laughter but also strife.
I rejoiced at much but regretted some things,
But I especially recalled the happiness that brings
A smile to those whose lives I've shared,
Who were grateful for signs that I cared
If they lived or died, or laughed or cried,
If they needed love or needed a kind word.
Those I've loved and whose thoughts I've heard.
Beautiful, Gliondrach. Very touching. Thanks for sharing.

[thevegantwins]

That's a smashing poem, Keykeypie, and you've brought us back into Limerick land.
True on both counts!

[Gliondrach]

Thanks. It was written to show Enchantress that there are other things to dwell on.

[Gliondrach]

Charmagne has adorable canine friends
To whom much love she always sends.
She and they are so close
They are never morose,
And their love from all evil defends.

[thevegantwins]

Smashing limerick, Fuzzy. I'm sure Charmagne will be chuffed. :D

[Gliondrach]

I helped Fuzzy with that one. He couldn't think of a rhyme for 'antidisestablishmentarianism'.

[Gliondrach]

Feline's our fine furry friend
Who'll soon be well on the mend.
We send her our love
Which should be enough
But there's even more we will send.

[Fauxmage]

Good work Fuzzy. :psing:

[Charmagne]

Charmagne has adorable canine friends
To whom much love she always sends.
She and they are so close
They are never morose,
And their love from all evil defends.

:excited: Thank you Gliondrach. That was great! The one about Feline was very nice and true!!

I had not read these limericks before tonight from the beginning. I have been sitting here laughing out loud all by myself! They are good - don't know if I have that much talent. I might give it a try later though.:)

[Oracl]

I might give it a try later though. :)
If SinnerCal can write them, anyone can! :rolleyes: ;) :D

[Gliondrach]

Lenore is a sweet hairless rat
Some people say: 'Well, fancy that!
A rat without hair
Must feel very bare
So to stay warm she should wear a thick hat.'

[Gliondrach]

Lots of love we all send to Lenore
Health-filled wishes and much more,
We're all thinking of you
For your health to renew,
So eat lots of food that is healthy and raw.

[thevegantwins]

Fuzzy is quite the dashing poet
Who seems to well know it
He's a bear without a care
Who is kind enough to share
His intelligence as a fuzzy, old Brit.

[Gliondrach]

:D

[Charmagne]

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasnt very
fuzzy was he?

:nahnah: :flush: OK - let me try again!!

There was a young chap named Martin
Whose bicycling antics were startling
He stoned cars that came near
But he never did fear
He knew Fuzzy was reliably near

:whiteflag:

[Fauxmage]

:laugh:
Very good Charmagne! Soon you'll be limericking up there with the best of us! You know, I think NYCRocker hasn't got a limerick yet, although Lenore has. Seymour doesn't have one either, and he says he won't be back until he gets one of his own!

[Oracl]

There was a young chap named Martin
Whose bicycling antics were startling
He stoned cars that came near
But he never did fear
He knew Fuzzy was reliably near
Excellent limerick! :agree: :yea: And I like the Fuzzy poem. :D

Commendations to TVT and Gliondrach too. :agree: :thumbsup:

[Gliondrach]

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasnt very
fuzzy was he?

:nahnah: :flush: OK - let me try again!!

There was a young chap named Martin
Whose bicycling antics were startling
He stoned cars that came near
But he never did fear
He knew Fuzzy was reliably near

:whiteflag:

:D Very funny, Charmagne. But my antics are not startling. I am well behaved at all times. As for Fuzzy. He may be battle scarred (and in fact, he is recovering from wounds received a few days ago whilst saving the world yet again) but he is very hairy when he is in his cave bear form.

[Gliondrach]

:laugh:
Very good Charmagne! Soon you'll be limericking up there with the best of us! You know, I think NYCRocker hasn't got a limerick yet, although Lenore has. Seymour doesn't have one either, and he says he won't be back until he gets one of his own!

I, or someone else will compose one for NYC, and anyone else who needs one, but here is Seymour's. Fuzzy sent it from where he's convalescing:

Seymour is a cat in the Bay all afloat.
He is clever and handsome and lives on a boat.
He likes to chew plants,
Is friendly with ants,
And is exceedingly proud of his sleek furry coat.

[Charmagne]

Oh that is so good Gliondrach. :yea: Now Seymour can come back!!:agree: Come on Seymour and check out your limerick!:blinkwave:

[Gliondrach]

I'll pass your comments on to Fuzzy.

As an extra incentive for Seymour, here is one about Potty:

Pretty Potty lives with WoosTigger,
She's rather small and would like to be bigger.
She likes her food,
She's never rude,
But when she's naughty, you can hear her snigger.

[Gliondrach]

NYC Rocker looks after dogs, cats and a rat.
She's often on stage, but we know about that.
Her t-shirt has words on,
Her voice is like bird song:
It is sweet and melodious and never flat.

[Charmagne]

Those are great Gliondrach!:yea: Did Fuzzy write the one for NYCRocker also?

[Gliondrach]

Yes. And he's just sent another one by special messanger.

A vegan linguist called Yam Yam
In many tongues can say 'I am
A good vegan man
Who would eat seitan,
But would never dream of eating lamb.'

[Keykeypie]

NYC Rocker looks after dogs, cats and a rat.
She's often on stage, but we know about that.
Her t-shirt has words on,
Her voice is like bird song:
It is sweet and melodious and never flat.

ha ha ha ha.....good one!!! I'm emailing it to her to make sure she sees it.

[Gliondrach]

I'm trying to go up to do my exercises but Fuzzy keeps sending Limericks. When he is recovering from wounds his mind goes into overdrive.

He asked who else needs one. He thinks Bonadrag and Pat Sommers don't have one. Who else?

A lady locksmith named Keykeypie
When asked if she's omni, says: 'No, not I!'
She lives in New York City,
On Strays she takes pity,
And what I say is no word of a lie.

Rainbow, Rainbow coloured bright
She's brighter than the stars at night.
It's Moz she likes
And she'll go on hikes
To hear him sing about animal rights.

[KRITER]

Yalls poems is rite good.They fun to reed,surnuff.

[thevegantwins]

The Naked Vegan :wigglebutt: is a lovely site
Friendly folks here, both day and night
It's comfortable here
Without strife and fear
And our fearless leader is quick and bright! :sun:

[Gliondrach]

Illustrated Limericks. What next? Musical ones?

[Fauxmage]

Aww. :o :o :colors:

[Keykeypie]

I'm trying to go up to do my exercises but Fuzzy keeps sending Limericks. When he is recovering from wounds his mind goes into overdrive.

He asked who else needs one. He thinks Bonadrag and Pat Sommers don't have one. Who else?

A lady locksmith named Keykeypie
When asked if she's omni, says: 'No, not I!'
She lives in New York City,
On Strays she takes pity,
And what I say is no word of a lie.

AWE.....THANK YOU fUZZY....I feel very honored.:agree:

[Gliondrach]

I'll let him know. Being wounded and in a foreign country, he could do with cheering up. The award of another medal is old hat to him now.

[Oracl]

Wonderful limericks! :psing: :excited: :yea: :cheer:

[Charmagne]

Wonderful limericks! :psing: :excited: :yea: :cheer:

What she said!:agree: :yea:

[KRITER]

I stand in the shower
For more than an hour
And try to wash away the stains
Of a life lived wrongly
All the stupid mistakes
All the regrets that tarnish my dreams
But the water only touches the surface
It only cleanses the skin
It could never purge what's within




Reel good.I lik it alot.Thank you kindly for sharing.

[NYC Rocker]

Heeeeeey!!!! What talent!! :yea:
I love my limerick - and LENORE just found hers now and is quite impressed!! And she says THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:psmooch:

[Gliondrach]

Fuzzy will be pleased to learn that you are pleased.

[KRITER]

No more poems?

[Gliondrach]

Kriter is asking about where all the poems went.
He knows that more can be written and sent.
They can be created
It's not too belated,
But he would never demand it - he's too much of a gent.

[KRITER]

There you go

[Charmagne]

Very nice Gliondrach!:agree:

[Gliondrach]

I did my best but I'm no Fuzzy.

[Bowwowmeow]

We all know that my3labs
Shares her home with three great labs.
Her Mom just began
To go vegan
And everyone thinks that's so fab!

[thevegantwins]

That's a good one, BWM

I'm so proud of my fellow naked members
Who avoid eating animals or wearing skin or furs
They are a lively, fun bunch
Who deserve a fine, vegan brunch :chef:
Entertained with a chorus of woofs :doggy: and purrs :dancecat:.

[paul]

:rock:

[Gliondrach]

The competition is becoming fierce.

1Vegan braves the storms in the flatland of dykes.
He goes to work and back again by riding on bikes.
He's not afraid of winds,
He just peddles along and grins,
And eating vegan food is one of his greatest likes.

[thevegantwins]

Ooo, that's good.

The vegan twins :beanie::beanie: frolic and play all day long
And sometimes burst into joyous, loud song :singing::singing:
At noon, they eat their beans and fruit
Which often makes them toot and toot
While helping them grow up healthy, proud and strong.

[paul]

:rofl: :laugh: :rock:

[Gliondrach]

Very good limericks, BWM and TVT.

[Bowwowmeow]

Thank you. :o
I think Soynut, Cherie, and Indyvegan still need limericks.

[Bowwowmeow]

Ooo, that's good.

The vegan twins :beanie::beanie: frolic and play all day long
And sometimes burst into joyous, loud song :singing::singing:
At noon, they eat their beans and fruit
Which often makes them toot and toot
While helping them grow up healthy, proud and strong.
:laugh:
I think you need to put this on your website.

Does Feline have a limerick?

[Oracl]

Felíne is a lovely cat,
She definitely isn't fat.
She likes to sit,
And think a bit,
"And that," she says, "is that!"

:dancecat:

Not a limerick but the best I could do at short notice!

[paul]

:rock: :yea: :thumbsup: :cat2:

[Gliondrach]

Of course it's a limerick. And the last line reminds me of Lewis Carrol. It's the kind of thing he would have written if he'd written any limericks.

[Fauxmage]

Oracl is as WhimsiCal as she is MetaphoriCal. :D

[Gliondrach]

There's the making of a limerick in there somewhere.

[thevegantwins]

cherie is a fine, skilled vegan cook
who owns many wonderful cookbooks
cruelty-free food is great
ones appetite it does sate
She's a cool vegan with brains and looks! :curtsey:

[Gliondrach]

Very good. You beat me to it. I was trying to write one about her encounter in that whole foods place.

[thevegantwins]

Did you ever see her cooking blog, http://www.utopiankitchen.wordpress.com/? It's very impressive.

[Gliondrach]

No. I'll have a good look later.

[Gliondrach]

Soynut and Janos like walking.
Soynut likes painting and talking.
She goes to the gym
To keep fit and trim,
And veganism she keeps hawking.

[thevegantwins]

Good one. We still have Indyvegan to rhyme.:rollingpin: Get to work. :D

[Gliondrach]

Your wish is my command.

IndyVegan's the man with the baseball cap
Who would like to have vegan food on tap.
A racoon he would like
He might call him Mike
And the racoon would sit on his lap.

[Gliondrach]

Snaffler's a clever bumpkin from Somerset.
Hunters chase him but haven't caught him yet.
He outwits them all,
They are due for a fall:
Hunting will be over soon, you can bet.

[Oracl]

Of course it's a limerick. And the last line reminds me of Lewis Carrol. It's the kind of thing he would have written if he'd written any limericks.
The last line is in the style of A. A. Milne, whose poem Happiness ends with:

And that
(Said John)
Is
That.

;) :)

[KRITER]

Yalls limericks or poems are all happy. Seems everytime I try they cum out long and I reckon depressing.The things I think to rite get to be about all the messed up thing folks do.That mite say sumthing about myself,dont kno.

[Fauxmage]

That's alright, KRITER. We have a thread here (http://www.thenakedvegan.net/showthread.php?t=597) for more serious poems. I think if you feel that way you've got to get it out somehow, and poetry is better than some things I can think of.

All of us have felt the way you do, I'm sure. I don't think I ever really stop feeling that way about the world, myself. :(

[thevegantwins]

Feline's name is pronounced Fellini
She's a big cat, far from teeny
We love our cat
Either thin or fat
So love my kitty or you're a meany!


(ok, that sucked :o)

[KRITER]

Thanks Fauxmage.I never cum cross the other poem thred.Must not been paying atension.

[Gliondrach]

This is in honour of Kriter's conservation activities.

Kriter's no quitter, and that is true.
He picks up litter that people strew.
They drop it on mountains,
And leave it in fountains,
But Kriter is there with his volunteer crew.

[paul]

:excited: :rock: :thumbsup:

[Gliondrach]

TVT has now been promoted at work.
She has a pay rise and many a perk.
She'll bring fresh air
To every corner there
And will run a tight ship like Captain Kirk.

[Charmagne]

Those are very good Gliondrach!:agree:

[KRITER]

This is in honour of Kriter's conservation activities.

Thank you kindly Gliondrach.
Thats mity nice

[thevegantwins]

TVT has now been promoted at work.
She has a pay rise and many a perk.
She'll bring fresh air
To every corner there
And will run a tight ship like Captain Kirk.
:o: Aw, shucks. Thanks, Martin. Mr. TVT will love the Star Trek reference. He's a trekkie. :beanie:

[Gliondrach]

But can he give the Vulcan salute?

[Fauxmage]

Congratulations TVT!
Good wishes to you from me!
Now you're in charge
So no one dares barge
Into your new office, so rudely.

:cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
(These are for your promotion, not the limerick. :D )

[thevegantwins]

:hug: Thanks Faux, that was a nice one as well. I'm sure many will rudely barge into my office but better they rudely barge into my office than rudely barge into my cubicle. :)

[Fauxmage]

Oh well, we can only hope they won't. :crossfingers:

[Gliondrach]

Paul changes his avatar nearly every day
And the one he has now will soon go away.
He's had symbols and words,
He's had people and birds,
But the messages in them are things we'd all say.


Veggiesosage takes pictures by day and by night.
He takes them in colour but they turn black and white.
With an editing suite,
He makes everything neat
And manipulates them until they're just right.

[Gliondrach]

Brandy writes wise words from her heart and her head.
She writes so eloquently and she means what is said.
Her words can inspire
They're said without ire,
They come from the life she has experienced and led.

[thevegantwins]

:master:

Fuzzy is the King of Limericks!

[Gliondrach]

But I am the rightful king of the British Isles.

[thevegantwins]

That's why I wrote he is the King of Limericks, not Limerick. You can rule Britain, Wales, Scotland and Ireland while Fuzzy writes limericks about what sort of job you are doing.

[Fauxmage]

That's why I wrote he is the King of Limericks, not Limerick. You can rule Britain, Wales, Scotland and Ireland while Fuzzy writes limericks about what sort of job you are doing.
No he can't. :no:
I'm officially challenging your right to rule, Martin, and I've got the pedigree with which to back my claims. :princess: ;)

[thevegantwins]

Are you challenging Martin to a duel? You can battle it out with carrot sticks while riding tricycles. Now that is a funny image. :lol:

[Fauxmage]

I did take fencing lessons in high school. :princess: :agree:

[Gliondrach]

I have lots of people challenging my claims. They're all nutters.

[Fauxmage]

This means war!

[thevegantwins]

This means war!
Ooo, you remind me of Glenn Close in Dangerous Liaisons. Very scary. :dark:

[Gliondrach]

With Fuzzy and his army pals on my side I fear nothing.

Fauxmage is a would-be usurper for sure.
But my claim is rightful and it will endure.
She wants to take my throne
But in that she is not alone.
Remember: my claim is ancient, rightful and pure.

[Fauxmage]

Fauxmage is my name,
Bloody Mary's the dame
Who gave birth to King Jimmy,
Who great-grandsired King Billy,
From whose bloodlines I came.
:princess:

Don't forget, I've got friends in low places, too. ;) :shiftydvil:

[Gliondrach]

But, as the High Druid of the British Isles, it is I who crowns and annoints kings (or queens). You have no chance.


The High Druid am I, that is a fact.
I crown the one who all laws will enact.
I make the laws,
I see your flaws,
I will banish you with imperial tact.

[Gliondrach]

From the time when Man first walked this land
The kingship has been in my line and my hand.
I was born for this;
It will not go amiss
And I will summon my army to enforce my brand.

[Charmagne]

Oh very good you two - this could get ugly!:stir: :rollingpin:

[Fauxmage]

It is quite plain to be seen,
That Great Britain MUST have a Queen!
Without a doubt,
I shall cast you out
And then I will reign supreme.

[Gliondrach]

Madam, you are mad. You are also bad.
This land is mine, it is what I've always had.
You think to steal
You plan to feel
That it is yours, but it belongs to this here lad.

[Fauxmage]

Pens are mightier than swords,
So, with carefully chosen words,
I am embattled
With a frightfully addled
Fellow who thinks he's a Lord.

[Fauxmage]

Once more, into the breach I go
To grapple with a worthy foe.
The Throne is the prize
Upon which my eyes
Are set, with victorious glow.

[Fauxmage]

Canst I steal what is already mine?
I shall now disabuse thee of thine
Flawed misconceptions,
And misapprehensions
For my right to rule is Divine!

[Oracl]

Brilliant jousting! :biff: :biff: Keep it up you two, fight to the end. :agree: :yea: :cheer:

[Fauxmage]

Indeed, I shall fight to the end.
For my noble goal is to fend
off Martin the Black
from my Throne, for alack!
To his will he would have me bend!

[Oracl]

:wolfwhis: :rock: OK, I think you're winning. :agree: :princess:

Martin had better get his ass :wigglebutt: in gear and post some more replies! :D

[Gliondrach]

Before battle a king needs sleep
If he would his kingdom keep.
The wench tries to wrest
What I hold best
But I will knock her into a heap.

[Gliondrach]

You say, madam, that your claim is divine
But you forget, madam, that this land is mine.
The land is in my blood
From time before the Flood:
My rights are in my ancient bloodline.

[Gliondrach]

Whilst I sleep my enemies creep upon me
But let them weep for I shall keep my country.
They doth protest
But I am blest
With such deep kingship that I will reap my destiny.

[Fauxmage]

Though you be well rested
By you I can't be bested
I possess the might
To win the fight
In me, the Crown is vested.

[Fauxmage]

:wolfwhis: :rock: OK, I think you're winning. :agree: :princess:


By the Wise Oracl's decree
The winner of the fight is me.
Give up your false claim,
And cease to defame
Your true Queen and Royal Majesty.

[thevegantwins]

This is good. Much better than reading a book.

Battle on, Wench and Wanker (masculine for wench?) :lol:

[Charmagne]

This is good. Much better than reading a book.

Battle on, Wench and Wanker (masculine for wench?) :lol:

I agree - very entertaining!! Looks like it's about tied now huh?:cheer:

[Fauxmage]

Battle on, Wench and Wanker (masculine for wench?) :lol:
:rofl:

[Fauxmage]

On your knees before me, churl.
Bow down before the girl
Who holds the key
to the Monarchy.
Only for me shall the royal flags unfurl.

[Fauxmage]

Are you challenging Martin to a duel? You can battle it out with carrot sticks while riding tricycles. With carrot sticks in my hand,
I ride my tricycle across the land.
To fight a duel
With a prating fool,
Who seeks to usurp my command.

[veggiesosage]

Ay Fauxmage, we've got local elections coming up in the UK soon, get yourself on the hustings! :D

[Fauxmage]

Vote for me! :yea:

[Fauxmage]

As your Queen, it is my plan
To make the world vegan.
So fight for me
And you will see
Two nut roasts in every pan.

[Charmagne]

:rofl: :laugh: :rofl:

[Fauxmage]

Marie Antoinette said "Let them eat cake"
I am a Queen who knows how to bake
With my own lily-white hands
Many delicious viands
That Martin the Pretender can't possibly make.
:princess: :chef: :hungry:

[Oracl]

What a contest this is turning into! :yea: :cheer:

The Wench? :flirt: Or The Wanker? :pleer: Who will be victorious? :rubchin:

[Fauxmage]

As your Queen, I demand respect.
Only the highest levels of courtesy I expect.
Call me a "wench",
And you'll be out on the bench
I shall have to seek a new Iron Lady-elect.
;)

[Fauxmage]

It would seem that the Pretender is asleep again.
To sleep during battle is beyond my ken.
It is my dream
To reign supreme
Soon I will conquer, and I'll not sleep til then.

[Oracl]

:D What are you on? :hyper: I want some! :agree: :excited:

[Fauxmage]

The Queen drinks something called "Metro Mint"
Which is water flavored with peppermint.
The flavor is yummy
It soothes the tummy
And makes the mind sharp as flint.

[Oracl]

Ah, so that's your secret! :shh: ;)