Hezbollah Tofu, or, Kicking Anthony Bourdain's Pockmarked Ass

[Bowwowmeow]

Anyway, if I were in a bitchier mood, or had consumed more caffeine, I might go through point-by-point to refute the posters who felt that the contributing chefs and cooks here were just scraping by with the "gimmick" of veganism, those who said that the resulting recipes would be tragically bland, or those who merely took the opportunity, in boorish Bourdain fashion, to trot out all the limp, haggard anti-vegan remarks that most of us could probably recite backwards, half-asleep, while stirring a pot of soup.

But instead all I'll say is this--bring it. Seriously. Any bored 14-year-old in his parents' basement can criticize recipes on the internet that they haven't so much as tasted, let alone attempted. So in the spirit of keeping the content of Hezbollah Tofu as varied and rich as possible, I will invite the haters to exchange the haterade for a nice dry sherry and see what they can do with adapted French recipes. Test the recipes posted here. Adapt your own recipes and send them in. Leave the meat and cheese in if you want; that just makes it more fun.

Or, you know, just hang out and talk shit. Although I wouldn't necessarily count on that as a life plan or a career; that really only worked for one person in this scenario, and we're pretty much kicking his pockmarked ass.
Genius! (http://hezbollahtofu.blogspot.com/) :wigglebutt::wigglebutt: :wigglebutt:

[Gliondrach]

Is Bordain an anti-veggie cook?

[thevegantwins]

Is Bordain an anti-veggie cook?

Most definitely. Here are some quotes from some of his interviews:

You've never had much love for vegans, and that doesn't seem to be something you've revised your opinion on.

Never. They're rude! People's choice to become vegan, from people I've spoken to, seems motivated by fear. Like, "it's possibly toxic, or ungroovy, or poisonous, or loaded with chemicals or some kind of harmful things that'll make me less healthy." I certainly don't see that as a good reason to do anything, certainly not a good reason to be rude to your host.

How can you travel? Before you've even left home, you've already decided, "I reject most of the world's bounty and the expression of their hopes and dreams and culture." Some nice, possibly impoverished Vietnamese rice farmer is nice enough to offer you the one chicken he can kill a month, or a week, and you say, "Sorry, I can't"? It just seems antihuman. It's antisocial.

And for anyone who says that everyone should eat like that -- it completely ignores the fact that, well, we can't afford to. We've got hungry people in this world. Go stay with the Bushmen for a week. Ninety-eight percent of their diet is meat. [Chuckles darkly.] That would be a funny reality show.

But what about vegans who follow that diet because they're concerned about environmental destruction or feeding the world's people more efficiently?

Hmm. That's an unthinkable scenario. Like, what, that the planet will survive longer if there are more vegans?

People seem to turn to veganism after some crisis in their lives… broken up with their boyfriends or something.”

“Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction -- the vegans -- are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demiglace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.”

- Anthony Bourdain
on why he hates vegetarians

[thevegantwins]

I've been following Hezbollah Tofu on Post Punk Kitchen. Most of the chefs are regulars there. They are working on a 'zine to publish their recipes. I'll post it here once it is finished. They are also making a t-shirt.

:biff: Don't f**k with vegans! :biff:

[Gliondrach]

That twerp is a berk.

[Oracl]

He sure is!! :rolleyes2: :loser: :dunce:

[thevegantwins]

One important question I have is how does BWM know that Bourdain's ass is pockmarked? :whistle: :dark: :eek: :shock:

[Gliondrach]

It's the writer of the blog who said that.

[thevegantwins]

It's the writer of the blog who said that.

Oh. I wonder how they knew.

[Gliondrach]

The mind boggles.

[Bowwowmeow]

Oh. I wonder how they knew.

I expect that, in a moment of extreme frustration over vegan hecklers shouting "Heyyyyyyy commando, have you tried Gordon Ramsay's recipe for Fire Roasted Chestnuts yet?" at the filming of one of his "food" shows, he resorted to mooning the crowd, being of course at a loss for any meaningful spoken rebuttal.
:wigglebutt: :wigglebutt: :wigglebutt: